"Heart of Haiti" Mother's Day Post: Picking Out My Wedding Dress with My Mother

This Mother's Day, I'm working with Clever Girls in support of Macy's Heart of Haiti campaign to shine a light on the "trade, not aid" program, which provides sustainable income to Haitian artisans struggling to rebuild their lives and support their families after the 2010 earthquake.

I picked out and purchased my wedding dress before I even had an engagement ring on my finger.  That may sound a bit presumptuous, but it did not seem that way at the time.
Unbeknownst to me then, Eric, the man in my life (who is now my husband!), was planning to propose to me just a few weeks later.  All I knew was that we were in love, our relationship was moving fast, we had already decided we were a perfect fit for each other, and that we'd be married before the year was out. 

We had met around Thanksgiving of 2007, began dating in January of 2008, became engaged on May 16th (Eric's 30th birthday), and were wed on September 28th that same year.  It was quite the whirlwind romance, and it continues to this day, a little over 3.5 years later. 

That day, in early May 2008, I stood in David's Bridal with my mother and best friend, Beth.  I had my eye on a certain strapless gown, with practically no train and a simple beaded bodice.  Here I am, walking down the aisle with my dad, in my lovely dress. 

My mother had her heart set on a different dress for me, one more "fairytale princess"-esque, with a long lacy train and lace detail all over.  I was not too keen on being covered in lace, but I tried it on anyway to see.  Although Mom was in love with that dress, I still wasn't feeling it.  The other dress that was more demure and simpler was more my cup of tea.

I went against my mother's preconceived notions even further when I opted out of wearing a veil of any kind.  A veil just didn't seem to suit me or the dress.  So there I was, shucking tradition once again!  (On a side note, I found my wedding shoes once when my mom and I were out at Payless Shoes, for $7.00.  That's right:  seven dollars.  They are these perfect little white satin ballet flats.  I still have them and wear them occasionally in the summer!)  Hooray for finding great deals when planning a wedding on a tight budget!

Of course, once I had found my perfect dress, we posed for the mandatory mother-daughter pictures, mom teary-eyed and carrying a tissue throughout the store.

After finding my perfect dress, the real adventure began:  finding my mother's "M.O.B" dress!  I tend to see something I like, decide it's perfect, and I don't typically change my mind afterwards.  I make the decision and stick to my guns.  My mom, however, changes her mind as often as the Pacific Northwest weather changes from dreary, to rainy, to sunny, and back again, and sometimes it's a mixture of all three, as if it can't decide what it wants to be for that day.  My mom's decision-making habits are sort of like that.  She flip-flops and changes her mind frequently.  And that is certainly not a bad thing; it's just a way that we're different.  She needs to see all the options before making a decision, and I typically do not.

Because of this, I think my mom may have tried on more dresses than I did!  And who could blame her?  She wanted to look perfect for my Big Day.  And honestly, I was so darn happy with my dress, she could've worn almost anything and I would've thought it was fabulous!   

 My mother & father gladly took the reins of wedding planning and lovingly planned a magical evening full of splendor and practicality.  My parents had the brilliant idea to seat the wedding guests at round tables for the ceremony, and just let them continue sitting there for the reception, which meant there were no awkward tables to move around before the reception began, and no long pauses in between wedding festivities.  My parents helped it be a seamless evening full of love, beauty, and fun.  As always, my dad ensured my wedding day was logistically seamless and smooth, and as is her habit, my mother ensured that the night was draped in beauty. 

Happy Mother's Day, Mom, and thank you for helping my special day be truly lovely and beautiful.

**Thank you to Macy's Heart of Haiti for sponsoring my participation in this “Share Your Heart" promotion. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions expressed here are my own.  

What is Macy’s Heart of Haiti? Heart of Haiti is a “Trade, Not Aid” initiative launched by artist and social entrepreneur, Willa Shalit, The Clinton Bush Haiti Fund and Macy’s. Already, Heart of Haiti has led to employment of 750 artists in Haiti, providing financial benefits for an estimated 8,500 people in the country.
Each item is a one-of-a-kind design and handmade by a Haitian master artisan from raw materials such as recycled oil drums, wrought iron, papier-mâché and stone. The collection features more than 40 home decor items including quilts, metalwork, ceramics, jewelry and paintings and is made almost entirely from recycled and sustainable items such as old cement bags, cardboard, oil drums and local gommier wood.  
Heart of Haiti products are available online at Macy’s.com.

Good Friday!

Good Friday is the Friday before Easter Sunday, when the Lord Jesus Christ died on the rugged Cross of Calvary, to ransom the world back to God Almighty by redeeming us from our sins and making us righteous & acceptable to God. This day is remembered solemnly, with a thankful heart, and is a great time to reflect upon how you've been living your life and to renew your relationship with the Lord if needed. Thank you so very much, Lord Jesus, for taking my sin upon Your blameless, holy self, and for forgiving my many sins and setting me right with You, for all eterntiy. I am so thankful that I have the privilege of believing in You and loving You with every ounce of my being, and I am so excited to be spending Eternity with You! A lot of people only think of "Eternity" as being after you die; the Afterlife. But what perhaps you should realize is that Eternity includes your life here on earth, because you are a spiritual being, with a soul. And if you're a follower of Jesus Christ, your "Eternity" certainly begins the moment you accept Christ as your Savior and start a fellowship with Him. After you begin your walk with Jesus, He gives your life a supernatural meaning and purpose, not to mention an important job to do while here on Earth. Your "job" is to illuminate His love and all the great and wonderful things He has done for you, to point others towards Him in love, and to thoroughly enjoy Him and the life He gave you! I hope all of you enjoy your Good Friday, and reflect upon His immense love for you.

"Free Them" 5K Run for World Concern!

On May 12th, I will be running my first 5K (or race of ANY kind) since 2007.  This race is to support a GREAT cause:  World Concern Ministries, who help battle poverty and exploitation in areas like Haiti & Africa!  You can click here to go to my fundraising page and donate whatever you feel inclined to donate towards this worthy cause of saving people from the ravages of poverty. 

World Concern helps rescue people from poverty on numerous levels, including bettering their lives by providing wells for clean drinking water, educating children and oppressed women, teaching women marketable skills like sewing or jewelry making to sell for money, and even giving out small business loans to help local people start their own businesses and help pull themselves out of the sticky mire of poverty.   I really admire how World Concern acknowledges that there are many battle fronts to pursue in fighting the war on poverty, and how a many-faceted approach is probably the best for creating lasting change. 

Currently I am training for this race, but I recently returned to running after quite the hiatus, so I can only run for a few minutes before taking a walk break.  My goal is to be able to run the entire 5K without stopping to walk or rest, so we shall see! 

This race conveniently coincides with my new aggressive plan to lose weight and get back into shape.  But I don't believe in coincidences, so I feel that this is meant to be, and that I am going to 'kill two birds with one stone':  get into shape again, and raise money for a worthy cause by training for (and then finishing) a 5K race.

Will you please think and pray about whether or not you should donate to my cause, or if you're inspired, please go find a service organization you feel strongly about, and get involved with them somehow and help change the world (or at least your small corner of it!)  

And, if you're the praying kind, please pray for me and my fitness journey, that I will (finally!) be able to start losing weight, now that it's been a little over a year since I've been off of the Depo-Provera birth control shot, since that's what caused me to gain about 55 pounds in the last two years.  I have desperately tried losing weight before, and was completely devastated that after 5 months of hardcore exercise and eating healthy.  During those five months of working out for 1.5 hours five days a week, I did not gain any more weight, but I did not lose a single pound, because the Depo was still coursing vigorously through my system, and it was doing its job of tricking my body into thinking it was pregnant, thus storing all the fat it could, and hanging onto it with a vise-like grip. 

So, this is a great opportunity for me in a couple of ways, because I am excited to raise money for a cause I believe is producing real, positive change in the world, while also encouraging me to get in shape with a specific goal in mind.  Won't you join me and the revolution against poverty and pain?  Donate to my page, or find your favorite charity and get to work!  God bless you in your efforts!

Okay Won't Do--I Want Extraordinary!

Today, 3-28-2012, is Eric & I's three and a half year wedding anniversary!  But you know what they say about time flying when you're having fun?  It's true!  And, since they also say that money (and financial problems) is the Number One killer of marriages, so I figure we've got a huge head start on all of you folks who are financially comfortable! 

Anyway, even though Eric has not been able to find a job yet here in Seattle (and we pray for God's provision daily), and we can't see any way out of this current murky pit of financial mire, and we really can't even envision what it will look like for us to FINALLY be able to support ourselves financially, we still have dreams. 

We dream of a time, hopefully in the near future, when we can buy a few acres of land (which is extremely difficult to come by here in Western Washington!) and operate our small farm.  We dream of having enough money to adopt a couple of children from foreign countries, providing them with a stable and loving home that they would not otherwise know.  I also dream of being able to regularly donate money to worthy charities, missions work, and our church.  There are so many great ministries and organizations out there who desperately need funds to keep running and changing the world, and I wish that I could provide those necessary funds.  So we have pretty large dreams, and these visions of the future are complicated by the fact that we have no income, no home of our own, and absolutely no way of making these dreams happen.

But here's the best part.  WE are not alone in trying to make these dreams come true.  God is the architect of our lives, and He helps us to create our own path through life, following closely at His heels.  So we are not alone, which is good, because it will certainly take a divine miracle to help our dreams become reality!
We want extraordinary.  We don't want to simply live decent, normal, or even "good" lives.  We want so much more than that.  And especially right now, we want so much more than to simply survive.  We want to thrive, and to help our little corner of the world to thrive as well!

Growing up, I always knew, deep down in the secret recesses of my heart, that God was writing a fantastic, miraculous Love Story for me to be swept up into for the rest of my life.  I somehow knew (and desperately desired) God to be preparing for me an amazing husband who would be my perfect complement, would understand me more completely than anyone else on earth, and would fight for me and our love.  I had no idea when or where this seemingly too-good-to-be-true guy would come from; I just hoped & prayed God would help me recognize him when he showed up!  And I'm happy to report that, although I almost missed him at first, that God opened my eyes to see the light, and I married this guy before he could escape! 

I yearned to find the right guy all through college, and while I had a couple crushes, this young man never showed up.  Then, for the span of a few months immediately post-college, I thought for sure I had finally found him.  This guy was pretty amazing, but his life was in a different place than mine, and he wasn't ready for me.  We both knew it, and despite efforts to make it work, I quickly grew tired of feeling ignored and practically unwanted, so I ended it.  It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do.  But I took the chance of being alone and single (yet again!), stepped back for a bit and reconnected with God, and before I knew it, I saw Eric standing apart from the crowd.  The crowd was full of "good" guys, but none who were exactly right for me.  But I soon realized Eric to be different, and he quickly swept me off my feet.  And the rest, as you know, is history.  And indeed, it took a miracle to bring us together, because Eric is seven years older than me, he grew up in Seattle while I grew up in Cincinnati, and we did not attend the same college.  It would have been very easy for us to never meet.   

I never knew love could be like this!  We laugh, we pick on each other, we tickle, we smooch, we brave the dreaded "morning breath" to kiss anyway, because it's important to start the day off with a kiss, we have each others' backs, and most importantly, we are a team that will never be torn apart.  We tackle everything together.  We promised to be each others' biggest fan on the day we married, exactly 3.5 years ago, and we remember that promise daily, so as not to forsake it, each other, or God. 

God meticulously crafted and authored my amazing, all-encompassing, wonderfully complex love story, and enabled that dream to come true.  And I trust Him wholeheartedly, that He will help all our other dreams come true as well (although perhaps not exactly in the same way we envisioned)!

What about you?  Is God actively fulfilling a dream of yours?  Do you have an amazing love story like mine you'd like to share? 

This is officially one of my newest and most favorite sayings ever!  I found this on a superbly optimistic, and wonderfully charitable blog called The Shine Project, written by a cool young lady who has a heart for helping those in need, and who is pursuing her dream of being a published writer.  I can relate to her and her dreams, and I can relate to this quote! 
I am never "wildly self-confident" about my creative skills as a writer or blogger.  I almost always have this vicious voice in the back of my mind who scoffs at me saying nasty things like, "You've got nothing important to say, and you don't even have that great of a way with words.  You'll never be published.  You'll never impact people for Christ with your ramblings."  Ouch.  Major ouch.  And I try not to listen to that voice, but it can be annoying loud at times. 
This "war" that rages inside me, and probably many other creatives, reminds me of spiritual warfare, when us Believers are attacked or oppressed by the forces of the Deceiver, the Evil One.  He wants nothing more than to rob us of our joy, hope, security in Christ, and our dreams.  If he kills our dreams before we are able to make them known in the world, he kills whatever positive, life-changing impact the fruition of those dreams would impart on a lost world.
I would strongly argue that there's nothing more fearsome and terrifying for Satan, than to witness God's children passionately pursuing their dreams, never deviating from the course, never giving up, and never losing sight of their goal.  They would be unstoppable and unconquerable by the forces of darkness. 
And they could single-handedly make this world a better place by touching people's hearts and lives in a positive way.  Way to go, Ashley, from The Shine Project!  I want to be more like you.  Heck, I wish we could all be more like you.  Never stop.  And never give up! 

The Tiny House Movement: Downsizing At It's Finest!

Let me take a moment and tell y'all about the "Tiny House" phenomenon that has quietly been sweeping the West Coast for almost a decade.  A certain number of incredibly frugal and concerned-about-the-environment folks like Dee Williams (in the above picture) and Jay Shafer (in the picture below) of the Tumbleweed Tiny House Company are pioneers and visionaries who willingly choose to inhabit teeny-tiny dwellings.  And you know what?  They could not be happier!

So what's the deal with these folks?  Are they loonies?  Or perhaps tree-hugging hippies?  Or crazy, extremist religious folk?  A resounding "NO" to all of the above.  They are simply people who desired to get out from under an expensive house mortgage payment that was keeping them financially strapped.  They also realized that they only typically used a small fraction of the available space in their big houses, so why pay good money for a house you never fully inhabit?  They did, of course, have some environmental concerns as well.  They wanted affordable housing that was easy on the environment, easily transportable, and easy to take care of.  They found it in these tiny homes.
Jay Shafer is the owner of his company, Tumbleweed House Co., and sells plans to numerous tiny house designs on the site.  Dee Williams has been featured on many social media sites, helps build custom tiny homes, and has spoken at the hugely popular, nerd-friendly TED talks. 

These people love sustainable living, less energy consumption, biking to work, living simply & frugally, only using the resources you need and no more, and thoroughly enjoying nature. 
I love these folks.  I love this tiny house movement.  I'm now mildly obsessed with tiny houses. 
And, because this blog is all about living a small but important life, and living a simple life, I wanted to share this movement with y'all.  I want a tiny house on several acres of farmland.  In the mountains.  With a stunning view of the mountains from my tiny front porch.  I want to have a mortgage-free abode that is just the right size and has energy bills of around $20 a month. 
Here is another great site about tiny houses, aptly named Tiny House Blog.  It's a blog about, you guessed it:  Tiny Houses!  But seriously, folks, isn't this amazing stuff?
Now, I realize that a Tiny House lifestyle is not for everyone.   It's probably best to attempt if you're single or a couple without children.  If you're married with 3 kids, then a tiny house probably is not for you.  But for my husband and I, who do not have kids, who are kind of "starting over" here in Seattle and trying to get back on our feet financially, this idea sounds SO appealing!
So tell me, my dear readers, what do you think of the idea of living in a tiny house?  Could you do it?  Do you think it would be worth it?   

Publishing my NaNoWriMo Novel!

I have always been and will always be a writer.  This past November, my determination and skills were put to the test when I participated and completed NaNoWriMo, writing a little over 50,000 words (a short novel) in 30 days.  Since then, I have been researching how to go about self-publishing my novel.  I feel that trying to get my novel published in the "traditional" manner, by sending copies of the manuscript out to publishing houses would be an endeavor in futility, because most publishing houses will not even glance at a manuscript unless it is submitted by a literary agent.  I have been on several publishing houses' websites, like Zondervan and Thomas Nelson (to list a couple), and they state right on their "submission" section that they DO NOT accept most manuscripts and WILL NOT read them if you send them.  So....What's a girl like me to do in times such as these?
The answer is:  self-publish. 
Self-publishing literally seems to be the only option I have at this time, and even so, I'm not sure I will be able to afford the cost!  Now, in a "fair" world (one where I'm already a world-famous author and publishing houses are pursuing me, begging me to sign contracts with them), publishers would pay me to allow my wondrous words to be published by them.  But the harsh reality of the publishing world  means that I will have to pay someone (a small-time printer or publisher) to compile, edit, package, print, and market my novel, and if I sell enough copies, then maybe, just maybe, a "real" publisher may pick it up and sign me to a contract. 
But there's a lot of "maybes" in that sentence.  And there are TONS of small-time self-publishing houses that exist only to take an aspiring young writers' naively handed-over money, in exchange for a shoddy, haphazardly-printed novel that looks like a 4-year-old compiled it than a legitimate publisher.  I've even heard horror stories of spelling errors being purposefully added to manuscripts by "editors," so that the client will have to pay more money for it to be re-edited. 
These are scary times, and I've heard rumors that things are going getting worse.  Some companies like Amazon (a huge online retailer of self-published books), and Barnes & Noble Booksellers, who previously had agreements to stock each others' shelves with self-published books, are now canceling such agreements, meaning that self-published books are going to have to find other, lesser-known shelves to fill. 
This site called Writer Beware has been a good eye-opener for me, as it contains a "black-list" of self-publishing houses who have treated customers so badly it's a wonder they're still in business.  Some folks have had great experiences, however, with a couple of the blacklisted publishing houses, so that makes me wonder what factors were involved that caused some people to have horrible experiences with these places, and others to have incredible experiences. 
I have determined that, as with most important things, it is invaluable to take the time and do lots of research before jumping into the mire, but there will always be a certain amount of risk involved.  Both self-publishers and myself have no way of knowing if my novel will sell or not, so there is some risk involved for each party. 
I found Westbow publishing, a small division of Thomas Nelson (a well-known Christian publisher of Bibles and books), and have been in contact with a representative there.  I have seen Westbow titles on Barnes & Noble shelves in the past, so that comforts me a lot!  At least Westbow seems to be a legitimate self-publishing house.  And another bonus is that they have a "parent" company, which is Thomas Nelson.  Most other self-publishers (at least that I know of) are stand-alone companies, with no parent company to contact if they rip you off or produce shoddy work. 
So, while there were a couple red flags raised in my mind with Westbow, there are a few things about them that make me feel more at ease.  But regardless, I haven't chosen a self-publisher yet, so I'm open to any suggestions or advice!  Thanks so much for reading, and let me know what you have to say!